Vow and Void

How do we come to this end?

We, every single one of us, are caught into this change of Epoch! Doesn’t matter where you at, what you do in life, how perfect or imperfect your lives can be. At one point, it changed, something snapped, no permission asked, our lives change forever.

Some feel more than the others, some awakened, some continue to sleep, some see the changes but prefer to stay in the ‘Safe’ ground thinking one day we will go back to where we were 1/2 years ago….

Not knowing, we will never go back to the ‘BEFORE’!

And it is exactly this different stages of consciousness that separate friends, families, and society. Good friends don’t have anything to share any longer, the old easy way of chit chat drops into silence.

We, my husband and I, used to laughed so much together, we were friends, we were companion in life, we lifted each other up in time of difficulties, we built this perfect family picture…..

Then one day the world changed, we are standing in opposite sides. Maybe I did try to stay ‘ASLEEP’, not to rock the boat, maybe I could try harder…..

Can a person ever go back into the ‘SLEEPING’ stage of consciousness after ‘AWAKENED’?  The Unknown is frightening, to hold your own Sovereignty is even more frightening then the Unknown.

In my subconscious mind, I was still holding this tiny flame of hope in the old way, the marriage, maybe just give him so more time…..maybe….just maybe…

Our body, this Temple of ours, always know better. My fingers are hurting, something needs to let out, something needs to put a FULL-STOP!

In a flash of clarity, it came to me so clearly what this ‘FULL-STOP’ is. The legal document of separation or divorce has only certain value, just as it has only certain value in marriage. Maybe that’s why so many couples keep on fighting even after the legal divorce; they still haven’t cut the vow internally!

My body, in this case my fingers, are screaming to let out this pressure building up internally. I cannot be FREE, if I don’t allow myself to go Freely. Cannot build a Future, when holding to the Past. My heart can never sing again, while tiding it to this heavy rock, still sinking in the bottom of the ocean.

Maybe today is the date to do it, maybe more time still needs before the cutting of the VOW be completed.  I long for this total liberation, to be free, to love again, to love myself as ONENESS!

Acknowledging it is already a big step, the first step. And I am smiling already…..

And So It Is.

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